In the End
by Filly1
Summary: Snape has issues. He likes this one girl...this is his torment


Title: In the End  
  
Disclaimer: The Song is 'In the End' by Linkin Park, and the character's are J.K. Rowling's.  
  
Rating: R for Language  
  
Summery: Snape likes this one girl, you can guess who that is throughout the fic. its really easy, but anyway this is his torment. It goes through the years.  
  
/It starts with one thing  
  
I don't know why  
  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
  
Keep that in mind  
  
I designed this rhyme  
  
To explain in due time  
  
All I know\  
  
Hello. My name is Severus. I am a student at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardy. I may state with pride that I am a full-blooded wizard, unlike some that disgrace the halls of this fine castle. My house is Slytherin, I take deep pride in my house, and it has become closer to me than my family. My inmates are sneaky and cunning; we all share the same key characteristics in personalities, yet there is a mild difference.  
  
I am a proud Slytherin, yet I am confused. We should despise the other houses with our entire wrath. We should torment the Hufflepuffs, slay the Ravenclaws, and furthermore destroy all those courageous Gryffindorians by any means..  
  
/Time is a valuable thing  
  
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
  
Watch it count down to the end of the day  
  
The clock ticks life away  
  
It's so unreal\  
  
My years here at Hogwarts have slipped away. 'Grown up so fast,' annoying aunts comment. The ticking of the last seconds slip away as I become a second older at each blink of the eyelids. Hormones rush into our veins, perhaps that is the reason she haunts my dreams at night and my fantasies during the day. It should not happen. Why, then is she there, always when I make a mistake? She giggles, she flirts, but something in her eye is serious. She would never take me as I am, or as someone else. I am from Slytherin, she is from Gryffindor..why?  
  
/Didn't look out below  
  
Watch the time go right out the window  
  
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know  
  
Wasted it all just to watch you go\  
  
I should have made my move; I shouldn't have given that everlasting sneer. I should have confessed the aching of my heart when I saw her with him. I should have rejoiced when that relationship ended, but I only had to face the heartache of another.  
  
Your golden brown hair drifting behind you like an angel as you graced the halls. The sparkle of your sharp eyes every time a transfiguration worked... And it always did. I was heart-sore, to watch you, and all I could do was watch. You drifted right past me always, to flit from one relationship to another.  
  
I cried out, silently, for you. My pleas were not heard.  
  
/I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of I time when  
  
I tried so hard  
  
And got so far  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter\  
  
All my feelings remained unannounced. I tried to vocalize, every time I tried to scream, I couldn't even whisper. Oh bloody lord, Minnie, what have you done!? Even my potions were screwed when you were near. Your very presence in my head made me falter. I tried to claim your heart and you love.  
  
After Hogwarts I joined the Dark Lord. Your vision was pushed far back into the other realms of my memory, but it wasn't forgotten. Your spirit still pulled at my soul, but I repressed it causing only more agony. I was entranced only now by pain and power.  
  
/I had to fall  
  
To lose it all  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter\  
  
Joining the Dark Lord was perhaps the worst thing I had ever done. The pain and torment on myself and on others * seemed * to fulfill my everlasting dreams, except one. Being a Death Eater has shaped me, I would probably not be as strong or as harsh without it..or maybe I am. Yet, all the darkness and evil in the world could not let you out of my soul. Why? I was tripping even within the dark. I could have lost my life, if my quickness had not covered my few mistakes.but losing my life didn't matter.  
  
/One thing, I don't know why  
  
It doesn't even matter how hard you try,  
  
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme,  
  
To explain in due time  
  
I tried so hard  
  
In spite of the way you were mocking me  
  
Acting like I was part of your property  
  
Remembering all the times you fought with me  
  
I'm surprised it got so (far)\  
  
He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named claimed all of our souls. He tortured and condemned us, until not a flicker of light was left in our souls. I was a murderer and a savage. During this time of darkness, I doubt I was even human. Too much pain, too little spirit claimed our lives. It does not surprise me that the Dark Lord was so powerful. he knew how to conquer. He had no sense of justice. Only power and pain, death and ritual.it was how he lived. A man so such cruelty was not a man, rather preternatural, part of the Devil's realm. If anyone was Lucifer-incarnate, it was him.Lord Voldermort.  
  
I am surprised I let this nightmare continue..  
  
I was awakened, by Albus Dumbledore, a couple of years before my Lord was vanquished. He invited me to take a position at my old school, Hogwarts. To be freed from horror, I accepted.  
  
/Things aren't the way they were before  
  
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore  
  
Not that you knew me back then  
  
But it all comes back to me (in the end)\  
  
It didn't take me long to recognize you again, your old face began to haunt my dreams. I do not know which is worse. I, not much different then before, am failed to be recognized?!? Did you even know who I was then? Or is my memory haunting you too? Bloody God, Minnie! Why do you do this, why is all the horror coming back? .Worst than the darkness torment. Turmoil in my soul, I am too old to be feeling this.but the feelings continue.  
  
/You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
  
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I  
  
Tried so hard  
  
And got so far  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter  
  
I had to fall  
  
To lose it all  
  
But in the end  
  
It doesn't even matter\  
  
Are you keeping the same secrets, Minnie? I am trying to voice my passion, why can't you do the same?!? Why are you so strict with me, like with your students, Minnie! Damn it, Minnie..I am trying!! I am giving up my spirit to heartache, and all you can do is shake your head and whisper, 'Severus.'  
  
Fuck it, Minnie! I don't care anymore. You haunt my day, and my night. Nothing of gratitude comes from loving you anymore. I am giving up. Fuck you, Minnie, all this pain, all this torture, all this screaming and crying..its all your fucking fault!!!!  
  
/I've put my trust in you  
  
Pushed as far as I can go  
  
And for all this  
  
There is only one thing you should know..\  
  
The simmering cauldron creates the mood as she enters my office. Damn it, why is she paying me a visit. She torments me enough without her knowing it.  
  
"Severus?'  
  
"Yes, Professor?"  
  
"It has come to my attention.."  
  
Oh bloody fuck my sneer, my distaste towards her students. I could care less about how unprofessional it would be. I grab her, and bring her towards me. Kissing her with all the passion in the world that I could muster. All the strength I had had gone into that soul-searing kiss. All my pains, all my life's torture..passion breathed hot  
  
..............  
  
I let her go, and stepped backwards. My eyes drift towards the cauldron, her sharp eyes stay on my form.  
  
"Sev?"  
  
I shot back a leer the strength of Hades fire, "Turn me into a bloody hog! What are you waiting for!?"  
  
/I've put my trust in you  
  
Pushed as far as I can go  
  
And for all this  
  
There's only one thing you should know\  
  
She steps towards me, her voice faded into a whisper."Severus."  
  
What the hell did she want now? I only raised my eyebrows.  
  
"Why have you waited so long?" She walks towards me this time, and seals the connection with a kiss so loving.so passionate; it would have imploded a dementor. 


End file.
